Beck Re-Tells "The Three Little Pigs"

The Huffington Post  Jack Mirkinson  First Posted: 03/17/11 08:08 AM 
Updated: 03/17/11 08:55 AM

Glenn Beck did an epic retelling of the story of the Three Little Pigs on his Wednesday television show, complete with up-to-date references and Beck-approved lessons.

Beck began by donning a Mister Rogers-style cardigan and sneakers, and pointing out that the original story is rather harsher than the Disney version from 1933. As Beck saw it, the message of the original story was to tell people to "toughen up" and prepare to face the evils of the world. He noted that the first two pigs actually get eaten by the wolf instead of running away to their third brother. That message, he said, has been diluted by progressives.

"We've been lulled to sleep," Beck said. "We're being fattened up in the progressive witches' cottage, simmering over a hearty fire."

He added some flourishes that seemed slightly autobiographical to his telling of the story, though, such as the new detail that the two lazier pigs called the third one a "conspiracy theorist" and "crazy" for building a house of bricks. There were also all-new characters, like Nancy Pelosi, the Goat Woman who told the lazy pigs to stay lazy and focus on their art, and AFL-CIO chief Richard Trumka.

"He's actually an ass in my story," Beck said of Trumka. "In fact, I think he's an ass in every story."

Beck then turned to a contemporary reworking of the story, which, he said, changes things so that nobody gets eaten and the pigs work out their issues with the wolf by communicating with him. He added that this story was being used in schools and said this was the reason he home-schooled his own children.

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