On Behalf Of All Us Potted Plants!

Patricia Nilsen posted this on Facebook by Amy Wojkowski, a court reporter from Huntington Beach, California:



Here are the lyrics:

I want to lug my equipment up five narrow flights of stairs
Into a room with no outlet in sight
And sit down in the planet’s most uncomfortable armchair
Then skip the breaks and work into the night

And I won’t care as long as it means that I have pages to turn in
No, I won’t care, I want to be a potted plant again

I’m ready for a fight with six attorneys
Even if it’s only O and One
Let’s do nine hours of expert testimony
A fast-talking Brazilian would be fun

I’m looking forward to a hostile witness
It’s more fun than the one that always cries
(I’ll keep) hoping the deponent doesn’t notice
When I struggle not to laugh at all their lies

Then if I’m packing up my gear to grab a bite to eat
Before I scope tomorrow’s expedite
I will not bat an eye when plaintiff’s counsel comes to me
And says they’ll need a rough draft by tonight

It’s crazy all the little things I never thought I’d miss
I’d even spend a day in a courtroom
But if this pandemic taught me anything it’s this
Depos just don’t work the same on Zoom

And I won’t care as long as it means that I have pages to turn in
No, I won’t care, I want to be a potted plant again
Talk over each other while you rattle off some numbers
If it means this court reporter will finally get some orders
I just can’t wait to begin, to be a potted plant again