My Picks For The Republican Nominee In 2012 - Limbo Lower Now. How Low Can You Go?

Pretty low, for sure.

God almighty, what a forlorn bunch.

The present Republican front-runners would be the dregs of any self-respecting campaign. They simply have no one.

I'm going to try to put them in categories, ranging from wildly unlikely to win a general election to unfit to work with Glenn Beck as a rodeo clown.

First, there's Romney.
Second, there's Romney.
And third, there's Romney.

Oh, to hell with categories. That's it, folks. They have no one else.

This is the Mormon perpetual flip-flopper who introduced RomneyCare -- the nearly identical twin of ObamaCare -- in the state of Massachussets when he was governor, including a provision for a public mandate, which is working very well and therefore being vilified through Tea Party megaphones as the worst kind of Marxism and the end of the American Dream.

Who else have we got, stumbling, falling, clawing feebly at each others' backs as they limp dementedly in the general direction of the finish line? We've seen them in zombie movies.

These names are in no kind of order, because it doesn't make any difference anyway; none of them has a chance. Huckabee. Bolton. Giuliani. Trump. Palin. Gingrich. Pawlenty. Bachmann. Daniels. Barbour. And now I'll have to go to double names, because no one ever heard of these guys: Howard Cain and -- I forget; some gay guy. There are more, but I can't think of any right now. There will be updates -- that guy who wears the anti-abortion sandwichboard on 15th Avenue by the hospital, for one. The end is near! Sadly, partner, it's nearer than you think.

Jon Huntsman, Obama's ambassador in Beijing? Jeb Bush (Bush III; keeping his powder dry for 2016, when the name "Bush" may be less toxic than "bin Laden")? Chris Christie?

All around the limbo clock, hey, let's do the limbo rock.
How low can you go?
Charlie Sheen for president!